Ch #8. How to motivate the “lazy” autist to get a job

Why is the autistic person so negative when you talk to him about getting / finding a job?

The reason is because human society doesn’t know how to communicate, inform and guide its citizens FUNCTIONALLY. What do I mean?

Human beings and human society always SAY one thing and DO another. Have you noticed?

FUNCTIONAL communication, in a FUNCTIONAL world, means that people SAY one thing and DO the SAME thing. WORDS and ACTIONS are THE SAME. This is the world autistic people come from and know. You walk your talk. You mean what you say. Words mean something. The autistic person takes everything you say LITERALLY, even if you don’t.

Only when your WORDS and ACTIONS are THE SAME, will the autistic person see that you are SERIOUS and be MOTIVATED to DO what you SAY. You have to lead by EXAMPLE. But this is not the case with humans and their dysfunctional planet…

The job center example.

I remember going to the job center and being told off by the staff there for not being exactly on time. I was 1 minute late…

They told me it is very important to come in time in the “real” world, and that if I was 1 minute late in a “real” workplace, I would immediately get fired.

I took them on their words. I believed they were serious and I trusted their advice to guide my future behavior.

Until I discovered later that the “real work place” didn’t t work or function the way I was told at all – seeing how people were late all the time, or not shaking hands properly, without it being taken seriously when I pointed it out-, I felt like society SAID one thing and DID another. Hypocritical. It operated in one way and taught its citizens another way. Strange…

When society advices you on how to behave, it seems to be only a hypocritical powertrip and a meaningless control game – NOT genuine or caring advice. Teach the meaningless rules to others and do whatever you want yourself. What a stupid and dysfunctional way to lead a society to function.

No wonder the autistic person is confused (and unmotivated) in how to “properly” behave when society sends mixed messages like this. Where is the TRUE role model?

The thing is. Autistic people are SERIOUS people, and they need SERIOUS role models who MEAN what they say and SAY what they mean.

When the autistic person see that this is not the case with the role models of society who are supposed to guide us right, they rebel and want nothing to do with the whole thing. Autistic people are functional entities who operate ONLY in functional systems.

To SAY one thing and DO another is NOT a functional way to guide citizens to function in a functional society.

The map and compass analogy.

Autistic people need a map and a compass to navigate themselves right. The clearer and simpler (more functional) the map and compass is to follow, the better they will navigate it. This is a functional trait of a functioning person.

If society is the terrain that needs to be navigated (“finding a job”) then correct INFORMATION and guidance becomes the crucial map and compass that is used to navigate it. Right?

But what happens if there is something fundamentally wrong with the map and the compass that society has given? What happens if the compass points to the south when it is heading to the north?

Will you then blame the people for not finding the cheese in the labyrinth, or the treasure box in the sea, or…a job? No…You blame the mapmaker.

Autistic people see that there is something fundamentally wrong with the mapmakers of society and are therefore not motivated to search for the treasure…a job. A functional entity is not motivated to operate in a dysfunctional system.

Conclusion: When society SAY one thing and DO another, the autistic person no longer knows what to do or what is expected from him. This existential social confusion makes the autistic person socially maladaptive and uncertain on how to take proper initiative at the workplace. This frustrates the autistic person and makes him give up very quickly. How do you know what humans want from you when they always SAY one thing and DO another? How can you functionally communicate, cooperate and work with such dysfunctional beings?

Autistic people are only motivated to take behavioral advice when people walk their talk and are consistent with their words and actions. Only then will they find it meaningful and motivating to cooperate with you and…with society.


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